More Than Baby Blues: A Therapist’s Insight into the Postpartum Experience
Becoming a mother can be one of the most profound, overwhelming, and heart-expanding experiences of your life. But while everyone asks about the baby, few truly ask how you are doing.
So let’s talk about it - the emotional, physical, and relational challenges many women face after having a baby. The thoughts and feelings that don’t always come up in casual conversation, but are real, valid — and deserve to be heard and addressed.
"Who Am I Now?": Navigating Identity as a Mother
Before becoming a parent, you might have enjoyed spontaneous brunches with friends, long weekend hikes, or simply taking a shower without a tiny human staring at you.
Now, your days might feel like a blur of milk-stained pyjamas and constant checks of feeding or sleeping schedules. In the quiet moments - if there are any - you might find yourself wondering, “Who even am I anymore?”
The truth is, many new mothers feel this sense of disconnect from their old selves. It’s not that you don’t love your baby - it’s that the person you used to be feels far away.
You’re adjusting to a life that demands so much of you, often without space to rest, reflect, or just be. That’s a heavy load to carry and worth talking about.
When Birth Doesn’t Go As Expected
Even if your baby is healthy and the birth “went well” on paper, you might still replay moments that left you feeling helpless, unseen, or terrified.
Maybe you felt ignored when voicing your pain. Maybe things moved too fast, or too slow. Maybe you didn’t feel safe. Or it simply wasn't the experience you had pictured and planned for.
If you avoid thinking about your birth, feel shaky when entering a hospital, or have trouble sleeping because of flashbacks, it’s possible you experienced trauma. Your experience matters — even if others dismiss it or try to play it down.
Isolation and the Need for Adult Conversations
Maybe your family lives in another country. Maybe your closest friends are still in a different timezone. Maybe you recently moved or became a parent during a time when visiting was limited.
Suddenly, the village everyone talks about feels very far away.
You’re grateful, but also lonely. You might spend your day caring for your baby and not speak to another adult until your partner walks in at 6pm.
That ache for connection? It’s real. And it’s valid.
The Invisible Load You're Carrying
You’re keeping a tiny human alive while also trying to heal yourself. That’s a lot.
And with that, many women worry: Is my baby eating enough? Why can’t I sleep when they sleep? Am I doing this right?
You might feel like you’re constantly falling short — even though you're doing everything you can. That guilt? That shame? That creeping feeling of not being enough?
Those are common postpartum thoughts. And while they may feel true, they’re often signs of exhaustion and adjustment — and sometimes symptoms of postpartum depression or anxiety that deserve care and support.
You Deserve More Than “You Got This!” Messages
As a psychotherapist who supports women’s mental health — and as a mother myself — I understand how complex the postpartum period can be. It’s a time of intense change: physical, emotional, relational, and deeply personal.
If you’ve ever thought, “I should be able to handle this myself,” or “Other people have it worse,” I'd like to gently interrupt that inner critic.
Therapy isn’t just for when you're in a crisis. It can be a quiet, grounding space where:
You get to be the one who is cared for
You can talk about your birth, your fears, your frustrations — without judgment and at your own pace
You begin to reconnect with yourself, not just as a mom, but as a whole person
If this resonates with you, I invite you to book a free Discovery Call with me.
You’re not alone — and your experience deserves to be seen, heard, and supported.
